When “gifted” grows up: how a childhood label affects adult life

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Giftedness is more than high test scores or IQ, it’s a whole-person profile. In adults, it can show up as intense curiosity, strong emotional responses, rapid learning, and many varied interests. These strengths can be energizing. They can also feel isolating when others do not share the same pace or depth of experience.

The childhood label “gifted” can shape your identity

Being labeled gifted early can become part of how you see yourself. You might have been the smart kid, the one expected to excel. That role can create pressure to always perform. Some people hide their abilities to avoid attention. Others never learned how to cope when things go wrong. Even adults who were not labeled often notice similar patterns later in life.

Here’s how giftedness shows up in the daily life of adults:

1. You feel emotions very intensely.
   Small events can feel overwhelming. Sensitivity can be exhausting.
   

2. You get stuck in perfectionism.
   High standards can lead to delay, avoidance, or harsh self-judgment.
   

3. You wrestle with big questions.
   Constant searching for meaning can bring insight and also anxiety.
   

4. You feel out of step in relationships or work.
   It can be hard to find peers who match your interests or pace.
   

5. You doubt your achievements.
   Imposter feelings make real successes feel uncertain or unearned.

These patterns matter

Small, repeated experiences shape our choices about jobs, relationships, and daily routines. Naming the patterns helps you test new habits. It also reduces shame. Once you see how these patterns operate, you can try small experiments and learn what helps.

Gifted adults benefit more from certain styles of therapy.

Below are common therapy approaches that many gifted adults find useful. Each one targets a different challenge.

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

• Mindfulness, grounding, and distress tolerance training to manage intense feelings.

• Existential or meaning-centered therapy

• Career and life coaching that respects complexity, multipotentiality, and high sensitivity. Helps translate strengths into sustainable choices.

Hi, I’m Hannah

I specialize in supporting adults who grew up labeled gifted. I help with perfectionism, emotional intensity, meaning and purpose, relationship strain, and career transitions.

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Article sources and further reading:

1. Alexiou, E. (2024). Supporting gifted people: Guidelines for therapists and coaches. InterGifted.

2. Beech, H. (2023). Psychotherapy for gifted adults. Dr. Hilary Beech.

3. Lo, I. (2020). Gifted adult therapy: The wounds of being “too intense.” Psychology Today.

4. Maier, J. T. (2024). The therapy needs of gifted children (and adults). Psychology Today.

5. Prober, P. (2011). Counseling gifted adults: A case study. SENGifted.